"Help", a sign of strength - Say What? #11

One important thing that I’ve learnt throughout my graduate school journey is the importance of communication and asking people for help / advice.

Now, I’m not the type of person who would usually ask for help, because I used to feel that asking for help = a sign of weakness. I used to think that by asking for help from other people, I’m doing myself the disservice of being weak and exposing myself to vulnerability.

So naturally, I’ve been keeping all my problems to myself. I’ve been handling all my emotions and troubles by pushing them to the back of my head and trying not to think about it (which is not good, by the way).

But over the past few years, and more so throughout the past year that I’ve been in the UK, I’ve slowly learnt to open up to people. I’ve slowly learnt to trust my friends in the sense that I can rely on them during troubled times, and that they wouldn’t see it as a sign of my weakness.

I think after spending some time to see the well-being counselor last term, I’m doing a little (if not better) this term with my classes. I’m learning to open up to my classmates, to ask them for help and advice for assignments and all.

After all, I’m lucky to have people with tons of experiences in the working world taking the same classes as I am, so might as well learn from their experiences, no?

I’m slowly (but surely) trying to understand that asking for help is a sign of strength, a sign of “I know what I’m weak at, and I have the commitment and strength to ask for help so that I can overcome it”. It has been a learning process, but one that I’m definitely happy with.

It’s also something that’s important to keep in mind in every aspect of your life, I guess? Marriage, relationship, family, work. A lot of problems in our lives could be solved if we keep an open mind, communicate our issues well and ask for help whenever necessary.

For instance, something called “Mama Secrets” has been going viral in the past few days. It’s a thing where this one Instagram account, MakChic, opened a Q&A session where Mums or wives can share what they want their husbands to do/know about.

I spent some time to go through the ‘secrets’ posted by the wives/Mums of Instagram, and realized that most, if not all, of the problems sent in through the Q&A could be solved if the couple had good communication between them, or if the wives had just asked the husband for help, in whatever aspects.

I’m not in a position to say this because Aiman and I have just been married for less than a year. I’m not sure what the future holds for us (insyaAllah, all good things, all good things). But so far, I’m thankful to have him around while I’m doing my master’s because he’s been a real help in the house.

I don’t have to worry much about household chores because he would pitch in and help out wherever needed. Sure, I need to sometimes remind him about laundry, or take out the trash, or clean up the house a little. But he has never complained about it, nor does he say things like “oh, that’s the wife’s job, not a husband’s job”.

Good communication is also key, as you can ensure that there are no misunderstanding that can stem from something small and petty like leaving dirty laundry on the floor or not spending time to eat dinner together. People tend to misunderstand a lot of things (like me!), but the more you keep it to yourself, the more stressed out you’d be. So learning to communicate it out and actually being proactive in solving the issues would go a long way, don’t you think so?

Let me end this issue with a fun video challenge that Aiman & I did last weekend. Someone suggested that we do a “Husband does my makeup challenge”, so we got our friends here in Huddersfield (thank you Nurin & Share!) to help us out.

If you haven’t watched it already, you can watch it on my YouTube channel below! :)

Hopefully you’ve found this issue to be useful. Let me know what you think about it, and if the slight changes made any differences (good or bad). My inbox is open for suggestions and comments, as always.

I’ll see you again in two weeks. Until next time, take care and stay awesome!

Love,

Nazu