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Knowing when to do or not do something. - Say What? #41

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Hi everyone! I hope you are all in good health, and staying safe wherever you are. To all the new sub
 
June 14 · Issue #41 · View online
Say What?
Hi everyone!
I hope you are all in good health, and staying safe wherever you are.
To all the new subscribers - welcome! I am genuinely grateful that you made the decision to subscribe to this newsletter, and hope that you would enjoy reading it, as I do writing it.
Hope you like this week’s issue - Knowing when to do or not do something.

I came back home this weekend to visit my parents, especially since both of my grandmothers were in KL as well (they’re both from Melaka!). And, as per usual, whenever we have a family gathering at home, we’d end up playing Scrabble and/or having long (random) discussions among ourselves.
On Friday night, we have a 2+ hour long discussion about different topics, ranging from voting and politics, job satisfaction and applications, studies, jodoh and marriage, and many more.
One of the topics that were brought up was my Dad’s medical skills (he’s a gynae-oncologist, a pakar sakit puan).
This was mainly because, earlier in the week, I had my dental appointment with my regular dentist (who is also friends with my parents), and the dentist was telling me about how my Dad saved her life and her kid’s life during a hard pregnancy (my Dad delivered two of her kids!).
As I was retelling the story to the family, my Dad mentioned that is stuck in my head until now…
A good surgeon knows how to operate. A better surgeon knows when to operate. But the best surgeon knows when not to operate.
Unrelated note: this article may be useful if you’re interested to learn more behind what makes a surgeon ‘excellent’.
When I heard this quote (which, apparently, is quite prevalent in the medical field), I start to think about how it can be applied to different aspects of our lives.
For instance, knowing how to speak may help you to become a good public speaker. Knowing when to speak (i.e. the topics, the audience, the time/place, etc) helps you to become a better public speaker. But understanding when you should say no or stop speaking (i.e. if the topic is out of your area of expertise or if you are not confident about the topic, etc) makes you the best public speaker.
Especially in this day and age of social media, when it is so freaking easy for just about anyone in the world to write a comment or two to ‘give their opinion’, it is super important to know and understand when you should or should not say anything.
Whenever something goes viral, it is easy to go on Facebook or Twitter to rant and comment about it. Be it politics, economics, celebrity news or whatever, people (or netizens) are super quick at commenting on every single thing. You’d also get internet trolls commenting here and there, trying to rile you up and create even more chaos or arguments.
The conventional wisdom about not feeding trolls makes online abuse worse - The Verge
"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything."
This is something that I’ve been trying to learn and practice over the past year (or more). I have slowly detached myself from the comment section on social media pages, or learnt to control myself before I actually tweet something about any issue or news. And I try to, as much as I can, prep myself before I share anything online.
It is not that I don’t want to speak up about important issues (such as women’s rights or #BlackLivesMatter and all that), but personally, I don’t see if anything I tweet or write will bring additional value to what has already been said and shared about the topic.
I keep myself updated, I read articles and stories from people, but I refrain from sharing my own thoughts because they don’t matter in this instance. And, honestly, I don’t want to spread any wrong information, which is why I stick to just re-sharing any good resources from established sources.
For measly nobodies (i.e. rakyat biasa) like us, it is not as important as it would be for people who are in the spotlight, such as politicians and celebrities, whose words and actions are easily noticed by the public and often scrutinised.
You see it often with politicians, when some are so quick at commenting and sending out ‘press statements’ on every single topic out there. While some of these are good and beneficial comments, there are also some which are purely for the sake of 'staying relevant’ or showing that they are 'in with the current news’.
Personally, I also see this on LinkedIn quite a lot, unfortunately. LinkedIn is a professional platform for people to share their experiences, connect with one another and grow their professional network. So, obviously you’d get a lot of people sharing stories about their job applications, resumes and whatnot.
Sometimes, people share those stories just for the sake of sharing their experiences. But there are people who will try to take every single opportunity to turn things back to themselves. They have to respond to every single thing, they have to comment and criticise every single post, and they have to win the argument because they are always right and nothing you say can reason with them.
I’m Slowly Learning That I Don’t Have To React To Everything That Bothers Me | Thought Catalog
Your life would feel much 'free-er' when you learn to press pause before you react to anything.
I spent less time on Twitter these days, and I’ve learnt to mute and block people to reduce the amount of trolls and ignorant comments that I see. Not spending time fighting with trolls give me a better mental health, really, as I’m less stressed and worried about how people would view me.
In some instances, yes, I speak up to correct a misunderstanding, give further clarifications, or share my experiences (especially if it is something that I’m well-versed in). But in most cases, I tend to keep my comments to myself (and to close friends in real life), because I don’t feel the need to argue or entertain trolls on the internet.
And, my God, it is so good for your mind and emotional wellbeing. I may understand why my husband, despite having social media accounts, has a pretty much ‘dead’ presence on all his accounts. It’s less stressful, really, and gives you more time to actually focus on what’s important to you and your life.
Some old gems from the past 40 #SayWhat issues.
In the past couple of months, this newsletter has grown so much. We had a huge jump from 135 subscribers in early April to 285 subscribers in mid-June. That is unbelievable. One of my goals for 2020 was for the newsletter to reach 200 subscribers by the end of the year, but here we are now, with almost 300 subscribers and another 6-months to go until 2021.
To all you new subscribers - thank you! Some of you may have been here because you previously attended a career class or workshop that I have delivered. Because of that, I would like to take some time to highlight some past issues which may be of interest to you, especially if you are or will be graduating soon and are in the job searching phase of your life:
To 'follow your dreams', you need to be strategic - Say What? #39 | Revue
Should you negotiate your salary as a fresh graduate? - Say What? #28 | Revue
Focusing on your personal brand. - Say What? #26 | Revue
"Help", a sign of strength - Say What? #11 | Revue
I’m going to sign off today’s issue with a question for all of you -
What is one thing that you are working on right now that I can (personally) help you with?
Feel free to reply to this email and share your thoughts and answers! I always enjoy hearing from readers and finding out exactly how I can be of help, in any little way possible. After all, this newsletter is not just for me to write, but also to share things and ideas that may be useful for you in your life.
So write to me! :)
Until I see you again in two weeks, stay awesome and take care!
Love,
Nazu xx
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