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We all suffer from FOMO, in one way or another. - Say What? #47

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Hi all - I am incredibly sorry that I was AWOL the whole of September - things got a little hectic an
 
October 4 · Issue #47 · View online
Say What?
Hi all -
I am incredibly sorry that I was AWOL the whole of September - things got a little hectic and I lost track of my schedule. I’ve been spending time to wrap up my writing project and my brain just got tired of writing for a bit. But I’m back now, and hopefully there will be no more interruptions!
For today, I wanted to write a little about FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, and I hope that it resonates with some of you! :)

I don’t know about you guys, but when I was in university, I suffer from Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) for quite a while. When I see friends hanging out without inviting me or going shopping without telling me, I get a little hurt and jealous. I start to think…
Why was I not invited? Was I not fun enough to be around? Do they feel that I’m a nuisance? Why is my college life not as fun and glamorous as others’?
Being on social media and seeing all the pictures and videos of my friends hanging out, while I lie in my bed in my empty studio room, made it a lot worse.
We all have a need and want to be connected with people. To be surrounded by the people we love and to enjoy life together.
And university life was supposed to be the best 3-5 years of your life (according to some people), so you would naturally want to spend as much time as possible with your friends and building memories.
So when you see your friends doing things without you, it can certainly trigger your FOMO.
At least, it did for me…
When I graduated and got married in mid-2018, my views changed. While the “Why was I not invited?” thought still pops up every once in a while, I realized that my priorities are different.
I no longer crave large group gatherings, parties, or hangouts. Instead, I prefer to have intimate gatherings with people who I know I would want to spend time with. Meeting up in smaller groups allowed for a more in-depth and personal conversation, allowing me to properly invest my time and energy into building that relationship.
Weekender | King FOMO: A personal essay
COVID-19 and MCO/RMCO have definitely made things a lot worse. For an extrovert, I found it hard to stay at home for weeks and months without seeing people. Endless Zoom meetings and webinars drained my energy, and I was desperate for some human interactions.
When the MCO was lifted and we were allowed to go out again (albeit still within SOPs, of course), I straightaway scheduled lunch and dinner dates with some important friends. I try to, if possible, have at least 2-3 lunch dates with friends every month, just to catch up with what’s new.
Earlier today, I had lunch with one of my good friends from high school. He’s married as well, and today was our first lunch date (with our partners, of course) since we last met 2+ years ago.
Both of us shared the same thoughts about how marriage has changed our perspectives on ‘hanging out’ with friends. We no longer have the desire to spend hours on end with friends until late at night, just because we know that we now have a home and a family to attend to.
That does not mean that we value our friends less though, especially when we turn down invitations to hangouts or lepak sessions. It’s more of understanding what is important to us, and prioritizing intimate gatherings vs the big ones.
How FOMO has evolved since the COVID-19 pandemic - The State News
And, like always, it boils down to what is important to you, personally. Focus on what brings you joy and happiness. Focus on doing things that makes you happy, be it hanging out with friends or spending time alone. We are all unique in our own ways, with our own ways to cope and recharge our batteries.
How I Applied for and Spent the RM3000 Geran Khas Prihatin Money for Small Biz - Ringgit Oh Ringgit
Until next time...
Before I end it for the day, I wanted to ask you a question. I am thinking of sending upcoming newsletters on Sunday evenings instead of Sunday mornings. What do you think?
Would you prefer to get them at the usual time (Sundays, 10am Malaysia time), or would you prefer to get them in the evening (6pm)? Let me know what you think by replying to this email!
I wish you all a good week ahead, and until I see you again in two weeks, take care, stay safe, and stay awesome!
Love,
Nazu xx
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